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Discworld II Hints

How can I get out of Ankh-Morpork?

  • 1 of 17: There's a ship at the docks.  Ask the captain.
  • 2 of 17: There's only one problem ... only dead people can get out of Ankh-Morpork.
  • 3 of 17: First, you need to find someone to deliver you to the ship.
  • 4 of 17: The dead collector does that.
  • 5 of 17: Try hopping on his cart, and then talk to him.
  • 6 of 17: He tells you that you have to be declared dead -- only one person here can do that.
  • 7 of 17: The mortician in the mortuary in the Shades will.  Go and ask him what he needs to declare you dead.
  • 8 of 17: You breath can't fog up the cold mirror, and you can have no pulse.
    Once you think you've taken care of these two things, climb on the slab and tell the mortician you're ready.
  • 9 of 17: There's a third "surprise" test ... you also need to be cold.
  • 10 of 17: So find something to cool you down.
  • 11 of 17: The pork futures room (which you can reach through the sewers) is full of ice.
  • 12 of 17: All you need is the tool to get the ice.
  • 13 of 17: There's an ice pick in the cemetary.  Use it on the ice, and then use the ice on yourself while you're on the slab.
  • 14 of 17: Now, talk to the mortician again, and you have your death certificate.
  • 15 of 17: Just get transportation to the ship.
  • 16 of 17: Someone's entire job is carting off the dead.
  • 17 of 17: Give your death certificate to the dead collector, and you'll have control over the ship.