The Secret of Monkey Island Hints

Complete list of insults and replies

• NOTE: You can only use an insult or a reply if you have already heard it from a sword-fighting pirate.
  
  Insult: "This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!"
  Reply: "And I've got a little TIP for you.  Get the POINT?"
  
  Insult: "Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!"
  Reply: "First you'd better stop waving it like a feather-duster."
  
  Insult: "My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!"
  Reply: "So you got that job as janitor, after all?"
  
  Insult: "People fall at my feet when they see me coming."
  Reply: "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?"
  
  Insult: "I once owned a dog that was smarter than you."
  Reply: "He must have taught you everything you know."
  
  Insult: "You make me want to puke."
  Reply: "You make me think somebody already did."
  
  Insult: "Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and no one ever will!"
  Reply: "You run THAT fast?"
  
  Insult: "You fight like a dairy farmer."
  Reply: "How appropriate.  You fight like a cow."
  
  Insult: "I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!"
  Reply: "I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose."
  
  Insult: "Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?"
  Reply: "Why, did you want to borrow one?"
  
  Insult: "I've heard you were a contemptible sneak."
  Reply: "Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all."
  
  Insult: "You're no match for my brains, you poor fool."
  Reply: "I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them."
  
  Insult: "You have the manners of a beggar."
  Reply: "I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me."
  
  Insult: "I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!"
  Reply: "Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?"
  
  Insult: "There are no words for how disgusting you are."
  Reply: "Yes there are.  You just never learned them."
  
  Insult: "I've spoken with apes more polite than you."
  Reply: "I glad to hear you attended your family reunion."
  

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