The Curse of Monkey Island Hints

How do I beat Rottingham in a sword fight?

• 1 of 5: The rules are basically the same as in other fights -- you win by giving proper (thus rhyming) responses.  But you are never able to go on the attack yourself.
• 2 of 5: Also, the insults change, but the responses do not.  You just need to do some thinking to match the insults Rottingham gives you with what you've already learned.
• 3 of 5: If you can't figure out a suitable response, it may just be that you haven't encountered the full range of insults from other pirates.  There are a total of 16 insult and response combinations that I was able to find.
• 4 of 5: If you have all 16 responses, you might just want to try trial and error among the rhyming choices if you can't figure things out.  Or read ahead for a full list of insults.  (The list of initial pirate insults are presented here to help you find the responses that you're missing.)
• 5 of 5: Rottingham: I can't tell you which of my traits has you most intimidated.
  Pirate: I'll leave you devastated, mutilated, and perforated.
  Response: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated.
  
  Rottingham: I give you a choice.  You can be gutted or decapitated.
  Pirate: Would you like to be buried or cremated?
  Response: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
  
  Rottingham: I have never lost a melee.
  Pirate: I've never seen such clumsy swordplay.
  Response: You would have, but you were running away.
  
  Rottingham: My attacks have left entire islands depopulated.
  Pirate: Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated.
  Response: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
  
  Rottingham: My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
  Pirate: Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated.
  Response: Too bad they're all fabricated.
  
  Rottingham: Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
  Pirate: Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
  Response: Is that your face?  I thought it was your backside.
  
  Rottingham: Nothing can stop me from blowing you away.
  Pirate: You can't match my witty repartee.
  Response: I could, if you would use some breath spray.
  
  Rottingham: Nothing on this Earth can save your sorry hide.
  Pirate: Heaven preserve me!  You look like something that's died.
  Response: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
  
  Rottingham: When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied.
  Pirate: Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
  Response: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
  
  Rottingham: You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
  Pirate: You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
  Response: I look that much like your fiancee?
  
  Rottingham: You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey.
  Pirate: I'll hound you night and day.
  Response: Then be a good dog!  Sit!  Stay!
  
  Rottingham: You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified.
  Pirate: When your father saw you, he must have been mortified.
  Response: At least mine can be identified.
  
  Rottingham: Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day.
  Pirate: I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet.
  Response: When I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filet.
  
  Rottingham: Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
  Pirate: You're the ugliest monster ever created.
  Response: If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
  
  Rottingham: Your mother wears a toupee.
  Pirate: En garde.  Touche.
  Response: Oh, that is so cliche.
  
  Rottingham: Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated.
  Pirate: I can't rest 'til you've been exterminated.
  Response: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.

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